THE WORLD’S MOST UNNECESSARY NECESSITY
Give your scotch a pat on the back.
One rich, spiced pat turns a stern pour into a silky little occasion. Drop it. Stir it. Make the face.
- 12drop-ready pats
- 0%alcohol
- 100%audacity
*Original according to a search we abandoned almost immediately.
A controlled dairy landing.
THE ORIGINAL DROP-IN SCOTCH BUTTER
Fat Duck Scotch Butter
Twelve individually portioned pats of cultured, spiced audacity. Notes of burnished sugar, orange peel, smoked sea salt, vanilla, and absolutely unchecked confidence.
In stock, inexplicably.
- Inside
- 12 pats
- Storage
- Keep chilled
- Checkout
- Amazon
No payment happens here. Checkout continues on Amazon.
FIVE INGREDIENTS. ONE IMPECCABLE LAPSE IN JUDGMENT.
A softer landing for hard liquor.
Scotch has spent years becoming complicated. We fixed it with butter.
- Cultured butterThe velvet.
- Demerara sugarThe diplomacy.
- Orange zestThe cufflinks.
- Smoked sea saltThe alibi.
- Vanilla beanThe suspicious finish.
Contains milk. Also contains the confidence to ignore tradition.
FOUR STEPS. THE FOURTH HAPPENS TO YOU.
The proper improper way.
-
1
Pour
Add your usual measure of scotch. Let it feel important.
-
2
Drop
Add one pat. Do not overthink the splash.
-
3
Stir
Eight dignified turns. Nine is showing off.
-
4
Sip
Raise your eyebrows. The rest is involuntary.
Half a pat if you fear pleasure. Two if you’ve recently updated a spreadsheet.
UNRETOUCHED ENTHUSIASM
He had one sip. The room became a cathedral.
Some people detect peat. Some detect oak. This gentleman detected the precise moment a drink became an event.
“HHHOOOHHH.” — Our best transcriptionActual photo. Actual delight. Burger unrelated.
WHY BUTTER? WE’RE THRILLED YOU ASKED.
Four excellent reasons. One terrible idea.
Softens the edges
Adds velvety body while leaving the plot mostly intact.
Extends the finish
Toast, citrus, smoke, and the sense you’ve beaten the system.
Zero ceremony
No torch, pipette, tasting wheel, or podcast. Drop and stir.
Giftably unnecessary
Handsome on the bar cart. Impossible to forget.
CRITICS ARE SPEECHLESS. CUSTOMERS ARE NOT.
1,842 people can’t all be the same uncle.
“My scotch used to taste like a stern email. Now it tastes like an out-of-office reply.”
“I dropped one into a 25-year single malt. Somewhere, a man in Edinburgh sat bolt upright.”
“We stopped playing poker and discussed mouthfeel for forty minutes. Dangerous product.”
“Excellent, but the duck was not included.”
Fat Duck replied: Derek, the duck is management.
“Butter? In scotch? I said no. Then I said, ‘Who moved the tin?’”
“The finish is smooth, long, and legally now part of my personality.”
INVENTED AFTER DINNER. AGAINST ADVICE.
A bad idea with an excellent finish.
One night, somebody asked, much too loudly, “What if scotch had butter in it?” Everyone laughed. Then nobody stopped us.
Our research lasted fourteen minutes and involved three rocks glasses, one butter knife, and a person whispering, “Wait. This is actually good.”
Fat Duck exists to preserve that silence in a very handsome tin.
PLEASE, ASK THE OBVIOUS.
Questions from the butter-curious.
Still confused? Excellent. That means you understand the product.
Is this real?
Painfully. It’s flavored butter made to join your dram. The humor is complimentary.
Will it offend whisky people?
Almost certainly. Invite them.
Does Scotch Butter contain alcohol?
No. It arrives sober and lets your scotch do the networking.
Can I use it with bourbon or rye?
Yes. We don’t check passports.
How much should I use?
Start with one pat per pour. Adjust according to taste, courage, and whether anyone is watching.
How should I store it?
Keep it chilled. Let one pat soften briefly before its important meeting.
Is the duck included?
The duck has a leadership role and does not ship.
Where does checkout happen?
On Amazon. Fat Duck never asks for or stores payment details.
YOUR SCOTCH HAS BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH.
Put a little butter in it.
Twelve pats. One tin. Several raised eyebrows.